Moms don't make good wingwomen

My mother finds ways to embarrass me in every situation. I arrived late in DC after a delayed layover. I noticed my mom slightly hobbling as she walked up her driveway. She had yanked out a hangnail a few days earlier and somehow her toe had become very very infected. It looked really gross and painful. I remembered reading something about ingrown toenails and how it can get so badly infected as to require surgery, so we drove to the hospital and signed her up at the ER.

Three hours later, a nurse took her back to take her blood pressure. An hour after that, an orderly finally called her back and sat her down on a bed in the hallway (the ER was so busy that all the rooms and examination areas were taken) and told us a doctor would see her soon. My mom was wearing this super old Yale sweatshirt that she bought at a department store when I was like 10 (along with UCLA and Michigan - I think she just liked the colors of the sweatshirts, had nothing to do with the teams or schools).

Tall cute boy walks by, sees her sweatshirt, stops and says: "hey, that's my school." My mom had no idea what he was talking about so I replied "oh, but it's not hers." And then he asked me if it was mine, and I replied no and we started chatting about a bunch of nothing while I took mental note of how cute he was and thought how NONE of the doctors I've ever had in SF are ever this cute, or young. My mom was just laying back watching this interaction then all of a sudden sits partway up and declares: "she's a lawyer!"

*mortification*

"um, Mom, what does that have to do with this conversation AT ALL?"

Cute boy smiles and says "well she must be proud of you", and thankfully, gracefully resumes the conversation. Cute boy ended up being my mom's doctor.

After my mom was released, I asked her as I drove home, "umma, what were you DOING when you blurted that out? You're SO EMBARRASSING!!" My mom just laughed and said, completely naturally, as if she were not completely cuckoo: "well he's a doctor and you're a lawyer. That's a perfect combination. We need a doctor in our family. And he went to Yale. He was cute wasn't he? He looks like your type."

OMG. She's ridiculous. But damn, he was cute.