I'm spending the week in Seoul with my grandmother who is visiting from LA. Like pretty much every place I've ever lived, I have a love-hate relationship with the land of my ancestors. On the one hand, it's the land of my ancestors and I do feel a certain kind of tie to it even though I wasn't born here. The history and culture is in my blood, the power of shared language and mannerisms can't be denied. However - do I feel these people are my people? Not really. In fact, not at all.
First, there's the fact that the people themselves don't recognize me as their own. Everywhere I go people think I'm either Japanese or Chinese. There's also the fact that I'm not demure or submissive or uber-feminine and dainty like the ideal Korean woman, and not just that I'm not any of those, but that I find the national desire for those qualities in a woman completely off-putting, chauvinistic, largely misogynistic and a nuisance. (Don't mistake me for a feminist, I'm not. I'm a post-feminist - I believe it's a foregone conclusion that women should be treated as equals, at least in potential and brain capacity (clearly men are on the whole physically stronger than women) and I can't be bothered to fight for my rights because that takes too much time and energy and I'd rather focus my time and energy on just getting shit done and enjoying any leftover free time than fighting the feminist fight.) There's also the tendency of the Korean people to try to appear richer than they are and their obsession with material stuff. I don't think there's anything wrong with liking nice things per se, I just really don't understand the hyper-level of obsession in Korea. There's the whole sunbae-hoobae (older/younger) respect thing going on which I find completely retarded and a superficial, non-sensical way to create a hierarchy. On that subject, there's all the hierarchy everywhere in society, which I also find a complete and moronic waste of time (not being able to leave the office before your boss leaves, showing the "right" amount of respect, the air of superiority or inferiority that people put on depending on if they are speaking to an "elder" or a "lower"). There are the random strangers in Korea who start complaining to you (or if they're not speaking to you directly, they sure as hell are talking to the air around you) about thoughts on politics and today's society and culture and how it's all going to hell - more often than not these strangers will be your taxi driver or an ajumma or ahjussi over the age of 50.
Every time I visit this place, which has been on average 4-5 times a year since I moved to Asia, I initially feel a thrill at returning to the motherland and having access to so much delicious Korean food, but the thrill very very quickly fades into annoyance and exasperation. Or at least it used to. I guess these days I've gotten so used to it that it doesn't exasperate me quite as much because I am comforted/placated by my knowledge that my trips here are temporary and that I get to leave.
For awhile when I was younger, I used to think that I wanted to live in Seoul someday as an expat, but that desire has been 100% quashed. Every time I visit this city, I am reminded with 100% certainty that I could never live here, but that I'm glad I live close enough and have the means to visit when I want.
***
I've managed to stick with Paleo so far in Seoul, although it's been impossible to be 100% strict because I'm pretty sure that there has been some MSG and sugar in some of the food I've eaten. I've tried to avoid foods that are drenched in soy sauce or sugar (i.e. no galbi or bulgogi, only unmarinated meat), but a little bit is unavoidable. But I've managed to refrain from drinking milk (Korean milk is my favorite, it's so rich and sweet and creamy) and eating rice or noodles or bread. And while it's not "hard" in an absolute sense, it IS hard not to eat all the delicious things I love.
Being on Paleo has taught me just how dependent I've been on grains and rice - I'm fairly sure that normally grains constituted about 60-80% of my diet. I'd always chose muesli or oatmeal over eggs, limited meat intake to 2-3 times a week and never said no to the bread basket or a bowl of rice. I don't think going strict 100% Paleo forever is sustainable because honestly I don't think I could live a life that excludes dumplings in Hong Kong, or rice in Seoul or Tokyo, or baguettes and croissants in Paris, or pan con tomate in Barcelona, or laksa in Singapore or pho, pad thai, naengmyun, and pasta from my regular diet. I love good food too much to cut all grains out of my diet forever. However, I do think this experiment is changing the way I think about food and I will definitely be decreasing my dependence on grains permanently.
First, there's the fact that the people themselves don't recognize me as their own. Everywhere I go people think I'm either Japanese or Chinese. There's also the fact that I'm not demure or submissive or uber-feminine and dainty like the ideal Korean woman, and not just that I'm not any of those, but that I find the national desire for those qualities in a woman completely off-putting, chauvinistic, largely misogynistic and a nuisance. (Don't mistake me for a feminist, I'm not. I'm a post-feminist - I believe it's a foregone conclusion that women should be treated as equals, at least in potential and brain capacity (clearly men are on the whole physically stronger than women) and I can't be bothered to fight for my rights because that takes too much time and energy and I'd rather focus my time and energy on just getting shit done and enjoying any leftover free time than fighting the feminist fight.) There's also the tendency of the Korean people to try to appear richer than they are and their obsession with material stuff. I don't think there's anything wrong with liking nice things per se, I just really don't understand the hyper-level of obsession in Korea. There's the whole sunbae-hoobae (older/younger) respect thing going on which I find completely retarded and a superficial, non-sensical way to create a hierarchy. On that subject, there's all the hierarchy everywhere in society, which I also find a complete and moronic waste of time (not being able to leave the office before your boss leaves, showing the "right" amount of respect, the air of superiority or inferiority that people put on depending on if they are speaking to an "elder" or a "lower"). There are the random strangers in Korea who start complaining to you (or if they're not speaking to you directly, they sure as hell are talking to the air around you) about thoughts on politics and today's society and culture and how it's all going to hell - more often than not these strangers will be your taxi driver or an ajumma or ahjussi over the age of 50.
Every time I visit this place, which has been on average 4-5 times a year since I moved to Asia, I initially feel a thrill at returning to the motherland and having access to so much delicious Korean food, but the thrill very very quickly fades into annoyance and exasperation. Or at least it used to. I guess these days I've gotten so used to it that it doesn't exasperate me quite as much because I am comforted/placated by my knowledge that my trips here are temporary and that I get to leave.
For awhile when I was younger, I used to think that I wanted to live in Seoul someday as an expat, but that desire has been 100% quashed. Every time I visit this city, I am reminded with 100% certainty that I could never live here, but that I'm glad I live close enough and have the means to visit when I want.
***
I've managed to stick with Paleo so far in Seoul, although it's been impossible to be 100% strict because I'm pretty sure that there has been some MSG and sugar in some of the food I've eaten. I've tried to avoid foods that are drenched in soy sauce or sugar (i.e. no galbi or bulgogi, only unmarinated meat), but a little bit is unavoidable. But I've managed to refrain from drinking milk (Korean milk is my favorite, it's so rich and sweet and creamy) and eating rice or noodles or bread. And while it's not "hard" in an absolute sense, it IS hard not to eat all the delicious things I love.
Being on Paleo has taught me just how dependent I've been on grains and rice - I'm fairly sure that normally grains constituted about 60-80% of my diet. I'd always chose muesli or oatmeal over eggs, limited meat intake to 2-3 times a week and never said no to the bread basket or a bowl of rice. I don't think going strict 100% Paleo forever is sustainable because honestly I don't think I could live a life that excludes dumplings in Hong Kong, or rice in Seoul or Tokyo, or baguettes and croissants in Paris, or pan con tomate in Barcelona, or laksa in Singapore or pho, pad thai, naengmyun, and pasta from my regular diet. I love good food too much to cut all grains out of my diet forever. However, I do think this experiment is changing the way I think about food and I will definitely be decreasing my dependence on grains permanently.
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