Mommyhood Envy

Most of the time I live my merry little life in my merry little way and things seem merry and good. But there are moments....such as when my law school alumni committee relentlessly sends me reminders of my five year reunion and I realize that a large number of my classmates have a) found the love of their lives, b) gotten hitched and c) procreated; or when I find out from my little bro that HIS friends are now fathers (my little bro's friends...the little rugrats that are SO much younger than me, the ones that only a few years ago I shook my head at wondering when they would grow up and mature....how could it be POSSIBLE??); or when, as in recent days, I pretty much receive news every other day about a friend or acquaintance being pregnant...and nothing I have done or accomplished in the last 5 years seems to matter. Because while others have found their life partners and brought life into this world....I....simply...haven't.

Not that it's a race. Not that I'm ready to be a mother right now. But sometimes I wonder if/when it will happen for me.