Please stop being annoying

Last night at dinner the conversation turned to how Japanese people love to say "it is impossible." If you ask if you can replace your side of fries with a different side, the answer is "it is impossible." If you ask your co-workers to do an assignment, the answer is "it is impossible." What they really mean by "it is impossible" is: it's VERY possible but either: 1) I am a Japanese robot and can only do exactly as the instructions provide and if I stray from the exact instructions I will self-combust, 2) I am an idiot and can only do as the instructions provide and if I stray from the exact instructions I will self-combust, or 3) I just don't feel like it.

The best example of "it is impossible" I've heard is from an expat co-worker who wanted to get hot chocolate with whipped cream at a cafe. The cafe's menu included hot chocolate (plain) and coffee with whipped cream, so he figured they could make hot chocolate with whipped cream. But when he asked for it, they told him "it is impossible." So he asked: do you have hot chocolate? Answer: Yes. Then he asked: do you have whipped cream? Answer: Yes. Then why can't you give me hot chocolate with whipped cream? And they answered: because it's not on the menu.

This went on for awhile, but long story short, he ended up buying BOTH a hot chocolate and a coffee with whipped cream, but asked them to hold the coffee. He figured they would just give him a cup with hot chocolate and whipped cream, but no, of course not, this is Japan. They gave him one cup of hot chocolate and one cup with the amount of whipped cream that would have gone on top of the coffee - so literally, they gave him one hot chocolate and one coffee with whipped cream minus the coffee.

Japanese inflexibility. It may be my biggest pet peeve since I've gotten over the lack of "ladies first" thing in Japan (it no longer makes me want to pull out my hair when men push me out of the way to get into or out of the elevator first, although every now and then I will make a point of going first because honestly, ladies first motherf#$*!*@s!).

Why, why, why is it "impossible?" No, it is NOT impossible. The latest occurrence - just yesterday. I asked my apartment for two futon sets (which they charge me for) for my guests for one night. After our ski trip next weekend, two of El Hombre's friends need a place to crash for one night before they head back to Singapore. So I offered them my place, thinking it would not be an issue. But my apartment/hotel wrote me back saying "it is impossible" to have three guests in your room. NO IT IS NOT IMPOSSIBLE. In fact, my apartment is over 40 sq. m., which by Tokyo standards is actually quite spacious. And I know plenty of friends who have more guests at smaller places. So it is not impossible, it is possible. But my apartment management wouldn't budge.

And so this morning, I sent the management a very stern email basically saying: Please stop being annoying.