Love, love, love (is so great, great, great)

"A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are; we can be loved for who we are and not for who we're pretending to be. Each unveils the best part of each other. No matter what else goes wrong around us, with that one person we're safe in our own paradise. Our soulmate is someone who shares our deepest longings, our sense of direction. When we're two balloons, and together our direction is up, chances are we've found the right person. Our soulmate is the one who makes life come to life." - Richard Bach

"Sean: Do you have a soulmate?
Will: Define that.
Sean: Someone you can relate to, someone who opens things up for you." - Good Will Hunting

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Soulmates finding each other is always such a beautiful story, no? An acquaintance recently eloped with the love of her life after being reunited with him for a few weeks. They had known each other for a long time and dated other people, but they realized that they were soulmates and went off and got hitched - without telling their friends, family, etc. They didn't plan where they are going to live (currently their jobs are across the country from each other), they didn't have rings, they didn't really plan anything - they just knew they wanted to be with each other for the rest of their lives and so went and made that promise to each other.

And she is absolutely giddy, floating on air. It is frikking fabulous to see. If they were 16, or had just met, I would think they were loco and this post would be a rant about foolish immature romantics who have no idea what real love is and will probably get divorced in two years. But these two are very smart, very mature, very capable and stable people, and that's why I am gaga over their impulsiveness. I love it - the notion that two otherwise very collected, smart adults become giddy teenagers after discovering that they are each other's soulmates and are so gaga in love that they absolutely cannot wait to make their union eternal. Gawd, it is just so romantic. I didn't know people do stuff like that in real life - at least none of the people I know in real life.

Usually the road to marriage is this drawn out affair that involves various milestones (just dating? seriously dating? ready to meet the parents? are you ready? am I ready?) - so unromantic. But it shouldn't be so complicated, should it? Shouldn't it be as simple as they made it? "I love you and I want to be with you forever. Do you love me and want to be with me forever? Yes? OK!" And then live one day at a time, without worrying about all the details that clutter a relationship: "where are we going to live? how many kids will we have? we need to settle down in a suburb and buy a minivan and a house with a white picket fence now that we are married." Marriage shouldn't be about "settling down" at all, in my opinion. All it should be is the promise to love each other forever, period. It doesn't mean you have to have kids, or live in the suburbs, or think about retirement plans, etc. It just means you have a partner in crime, for life.

Since I'm not privy to this couple's private life, I'm sure they went through milestones and had their ups and downs as well. After all, they've known each other for a long time and their path was not a simple straight one. But I like the short-cut version of the story, which is so much more romantic: they were re-acquainted and within a couple weeks knew with absolute certainty that each other was the one - their soulmate.

As lovely and awesome their story is, there were casualties along the way and of course, it's sad for the people involved in their lives who ended up not being "the one." It's always sad for the ones who...get left behind...but I also think it's a bit pointless to blame the people who are in love that have to make the decision between being a "nice" person and choosing love. Because goddamnit, if you are ever presented with real love, you should take it. If you meet your soulmate, it would be a sin against the universe and the entire notion of love to pass on your soulmate in order to continue being with someone who is not your soulmate, just to not hurt their feelings.

I've been giddy all day after hearing their story, and I think it's because we just don't hear about people being so impulsively in love anymore (other than celebrities who get divorced within weeks). Who talks about soulmates and being so in love that they cannot even be bothered to plan a wedding or even notify their parents? It's so wonderfully spontaneous. Love, love, love. Is so great, great, great.

To be honest, I'm a skeptic on the issue of soulmates. I think if I ever met my "soulmate" I'd be freaked the hell out because frankly, I'm kind of loca so I can only imagine that my soulmate, if such a concept exists, is equally unstable and irrational. And though I understand that a soulmate is not necessarily someone who is just like you, but someone who gets you and who you get, I think any soulmate of mine would have to be at least a little bit loony to truly understand me because I am that illogical.

What I do believe in, though, is the concept of a lifemate - someone that you could spend the rest of your life with. I think for the general public, we are lucky if we encounter a lifemate (of which I believe there is more than one possible person). Your soulmate might be one of your potential lifemates, or he/she might not be. I think if you are lucky, you will find and end up with one of your lifemates. I think once in a blue moon, soulmates actually end up finding each other - but whether they decide to become lifemates or not is not a sure thing. Which is why it's so awesome to me to hear about two people who are soulmates AND decide to be lifemates.

God, I must be on some kind of estrogen high. I'd like off, please! Make sappy Deb go away!