Are we in recession yet?

I wish the Fed would hurry up and finally admit we are in a deep recession. It wouldn't really change things, but I hate the hemming and hawing, trying to avoid saying what is clearly true.

***

“It's fear of the unknown. The unknown is what it is. And to be frightened of it is what sends everybody scurrying around chasing dreams, illusions, wars, peace, love, hate, all that--it's all illusion. Unknown is what it is. Accept that it's unknown and it's plain sailing. Everything is unknown--then you're ahead of the game. That's what it is. Right?” - John Lennon

Right. Except that it's much easier said than done. I hate the unknown. I'd rather have bad news than be in the purgatory of no news, waiting for some news. Because then you can at least deal with it. The scariest thing about the unknown is that you can't prepare for it. You hold your breath, waiting.

I remember when my brother ran away from home in high school for a few days. My family was frantic and I spent two days on the phone calling every hospital, police station, and news station within a 100 mile radius asking about any car accidents, random violent attacks, gang killings, fatal robberies or other injuries relating to an Asian male teenager. The worst part of that ordeal was not knowing. The mind has a morbid tendency to think the very worst about the unknown. It's a relief when you finally know - whether it is good or bad, because you can then finally breathe and deal with it.

I think that's why we fear death - because we don't know when it is coming. If I knew exactly when I was going to die, I don't think I'd fear it because I could prepare for it.

And I also think that's why I dislike my job - because everything is always so uncertain. I honestly don't mind the long hours of a deal, because I actually like the adrenaline rush of the fast pace. What I hate is never knowing what my life will look like for the next few weeks - will I be swamped? Will I have zero billable hours? Can I plan a weekend getaway? Can I make any plans at all, without having to cancel them at the last minute because of some arbitrary demands of a client? The unknown. Blech.

But...I guess that is also what makes life wonderful. Not knowing is what allows us to have hopes, dreams, wishes. If we knew everything that was ahead, we'd never know the joy of having a hope fulfilled.