Sugoi desu

Seriously, learning Japanese is so hard because there are so many words with double or multiple meanings and it's all about learning how to use it in proper context. For example, I've been hearing the word sugoi a lot so I asked my secretary what it meant and she said it means "wonderful, terrific!" on its own, or "very" when used in conjunction with another adjective, but it's generally used as a compliment, to say something is super good. However, I looked it up today on an online Japanese-English dictionary and the definition is: "terrible, dreadful, terrific, amazing, great."

Um. Ok. What?? How can the same word mean terrible and terrific, dreadful and great?? Just like iidesu can mean it's good or it's bad, depending on whether you are nodding or shaking your head. Aiya. Sugoidesune.

***

One of the top execs at my firm took me to dinner yesterday along with another Kor-Am associate and he seemed so utterly interested in what we thought about Japanese-Korean relations, the historical rule over Korea, whether we identify as Korean or American* and if the former, why we would come to Japan when Korea is still not viewed very favorably. Um. Ok. It's not? I didn't know that. I couldn't believe that he straight up basically said that Japanese people look down on Koreans. I mean, I know they do, it's just surprising that one would say it out loud, to a Korean no less, in a professional setting. But I suppose the concept of political correctness is a very Western one so perhaps I shouldn't have been that surprised.

One thing that's very clear when you come to Asia is that the various Asian races are soooooo different - in terms of culture, manners, social mores, cuisine, temperament, etc. In America, we often group ourselves together as Asian-Americans and we try to promote unity socially and politically. I have friends that are Korean, Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese, Filipina, Indian (and the occasional white person). And among my friends, I don't see such extreme differences...in America, we often do become just "Asian-American" and create our own set of social culture, manners, social mores, temperament, etc.

But perhaps because Japan is so...Japanese, and thus so unlike other Asian cultures, it's clear how different it is from say, Korean or Chinese cultures. And the exec brought that up as well - he literally said: "Koreans have so much...fire, and passion. Maybe you eat too much garlic. Japanese, we do not have so much passion. I think Korean is more like Italy or Spain or other European countries."

I would definitely have to agree that Koreans have a lot of passion and fire, which can manifest itself in both good and bad ways. The good - I think Koreans have a zest for life, are fiercely loyal and passionate about the things they love. The bad - that passion leads people to protest every little thing with funny bandanas on their heads and have heated arguments about anything and everything. Also, Koreans tend to be very fickle so one moment they LOOOOVE the new president and the next moment they are crucifying him (and this happens with basically every new president).

Japanese culture is so fascinating to me because I have never encountered another culture like it. What other culture reveres politeness and conformity so intensely? In Japan there is a famous saying: the nail that sticks out must be hammered down. And I was told by an acquaintance that his Japanese colleague said that when her son went to school and didn't do exactly what the other kids were doing (which is exactly what the teacher told them they should do), the teacher called her in and told her that: "it's a grave matter that your son will not conform."

Soooo interesting. Not bad, not good, just so interesting. I think my first 2 or 3 weeks here I saw all these uniquely Japanese characteristics as strange, oppressive, negative. But now, I honestly feel very neutral about it. It just IS, you know? Who is to say which culture is right or wrong - there is no right or wrong, there just IS. (although...let's not get started on regimes/cultures that are oppressive to women, which I clearly think IS very very wrong)

I think what makes me feel neutral about it is my gradual acceptance that I don't have to adopt their culture - I am not and never will be Japanese, so I don't have to try to be. I think it's one thing to respect a culture, an entirely different thing to try to conform to that culture. So while I take reasonable measures to respect Japanese culture by also being polite, obeying (some) rules, etc., I don't try to be Japanese or adopt their culture. Because that's not me, and just because I live here, doesn't mean I have to become them. It took me a good month to realize that, but once I truly realized it, I felt so free to just be me and also free to start really loving Japan.

*as a side note, the exec actually posed the question as: if the US and Korea were playing baseball against each other, who would you root for? And of course I replied: KOREA! But that's such a different question from whether I identify more as Korean or American. I identify as American - Korean-American to be more precise...but that doesn't mean I'm not allowed to root for Team Korea in all sports matters!