The Murtaugh List

One reason I love "How I Met Your Mother" is that I think it captures (for me) all the growing pains (and joys and other complex emotions) you feel as you say goodbye to your 20's and enter your 30's. It's the perfect mix of characters that are hyperbolic yet relatable, real life issues, pop culture, humor and the uber-annoying yet loveable Barney.

On a recent episode I watched, Ted comes up with the "Murtaugh List" based on Danny Glover's character in Lethal Weapon, who repeatedly states in the movie that he's "too old for this shit."

A year or two ago, I would have said that I'm not too old to do anything. Mind over matter. But honestly there's something about getting closer to the big 3-0. I don't know if it's all in my head or what, but these days I really do feel "too old for this shit." So my own personal Murtaugh List:

1. Clubbing. It's not that I'm too old, per se. It's just that the very idea of getting dressed up in a barely there dress so that I can get drunk in a fire-hazard-crowded eardrum-damagingly loud room full of sweaty, also drunk, also half naked people is simply not appealing. At all. I'm just tool old for this shit.

2. Overdrinking. Spending the next morning piecing together what happened the night before by calling your friends, not remembering 80% of the night, not remembering how you got home or what you did, etc....I'm too old for that shit.

3. Hangovers. Ah, I remember those wonderful days of youth when you could get over a hangover simply by hitting the treadmill for half an hour or eating a greasy breakfast. These days a hangover means spending the next 24 hours in a horizontal position, nursing a headache, nausea, dehydration, memory loss and loss of motor function. I'm too old for this shit.

4. Slumming it while traveling (i.e. hostels, backpacking, not showering, etc.). This is so self-explanatory. Why in God's name, when given the choice between a 5 star hotel or a dirty room where the sheets have never been changed, there are bugs of all species and sizes, no running water and no AC would anyone choose the latter? I'm not talking about when both of those choices are not available - I fully understand that to travel/explore certain areas, the only choice you have may be modest accommodations. On the Inca Trail I didn't shower for 3 days, slept in a rented sleeping bag on a dirty mat in a freezing wet tent (one night there was some large living creature either in or directly below my tent that kept scuffling all night and I didn't sleep a wink - the porter later told me it was a big hairy tarantula) but it was one of the greatest travel experiences I ever had. So yeah, I would choose that over staying in a 5 star hotel in Cuzco and just taking the train to Machu Picchu because I think more than just seeing the ruins of MP, it's the journey on the Inca Trail that is amazing and unforgettable. But if I was traveling in a third world country and had the option to "rough it" in budget accommodations or check in to the Four Seasons I would pick the latter. Because although some of my best memories are of slumming it during my various travels, I'm just too old for that shit now.