Empire State of Mind

My four day business trip to New York ended up lasting almost 2 weeks. In between the 15-17 billable hours per day, I managed to spend some quality time with good friends, eat at some of NY's best restaurants and do some serious damage to my credit card. All in all, when it wasn't excruciatingly painful, it was excruciatingly wonderful.

What's hardest for me about living abroad is being away from my closest friends and family - the people who know me to the core, who understand my contradictory ways (I have been told that I'm both the most hopeless romantic and the biggest cynic by several people - totally true), with whom I can just completely BE (be me, be with) with hours on end and feel that level of human connection that only comes with true and deep friendship. I miss it so much in HK, it's the only thing that I truly miss about America while living abroad. Even though I have friends in HK, the friendships are "new" - and new friendships, while wonderful, just aren't the same as old and deep ones.

I think the other thing about HK is that so much of the social life there is about the scene: drinking, eating, going out, hanging out with 30 people in a loud crowded room, yelling to hear each other. As P noted during this trip, I'm an old soul - I've been a grandma since I was about 14. My idea of a perfect day is just doing nothing (or anything) with close friends - just the thought of going out to a loud bar makes me tired. Long breakfasts and dinners with old friends was exactly what my soul needed - I feel revived.

In some ways, it's good that this trip lasted as long as it did, because it reminded me that I never want to live in NY again. I absolutely love New York, but only as a visitor - I never need nor want to live here again. The funny thing is that when I did live here, I thought that to live in NY was the greatest privilege in the world and that people who didn't live here were missing out. Now I think that to live in NY is crazy - so crowded, so overpriced, so....much. I think my two-week dose was enough to last me for a couple years.

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During this trip, I kept saying: "the thing about America..." I've been living abroad for almost 2 years now, and certain things about America are foreign to me now. Such as tip. Why must I pay tip on services that are just part of the other person's job? In NY, if you pay for a cab ride with a credit card, the default screen only allows you to give 20, 25 or 30% tip. Um....why do I need to give the driver a 30% tip for driving me some place, which is exactly what the fare is for anyway??? The thing about America is that you have to pay tip, and I hate paying tip. Another thing about America: taxes. I hate that my already expensive purchases become 10% more expensive because of tax. The other thing about America: extremely inefficient airports. I was told I need to get to JFK at least 3 hours in advance, which means I need to leave NY 4.5 hours before my flight - that's just ridiculous. In HK, I leave my house precisely 1 hour 40 minutes before my flight - 10 minutes to HK station, 20 minute train ride to HK airport, 10 minutes to get from the train to my GATE (that's right, the gate - which includes the walk from the train to security, clearing security and customs and getting to the gate), which still leave you 30 minutes before boarding to enjoy a snack in the lounge. Oh America.

The things I love about America though: radio (I've been listening to the top 40's station non-stop - oh American pop music, how I missed you); reality TV (I've also been watching Bravo non-stop - oh Real Housewives, how I missed you); vegetables; oatmeal (it's so hard to find oatmeal on any menu in HK); Bloomingdales; sales; Americanness. Yup, I miss Americanness. I never realized how fobby I'm getting - HK is very international and very Cantonese at the same time, but it's not very American. The majority of Westerners and even the ethnically Asian expats are not American, but rather Australian, British or Canadian. Which is why now I come to America and say things like "the thing about America...."

Living abroad, you get used to a sense of...nationlessness. I come to the US now and parts of it seem foreign. Yet I never feel like a real HKer, because I'm obviously a foreigner. Being nationless means you can pretty much adjust to life anywhere, but you never feel truly home anywhere.