Kindred spirits

The thing about friendship is that it can transform everything about...well, just about everything. When I first arrived in Tokyo, I felt so...alone. I met a whole bunch of people immediately, went out a lot and yet I found myself feeling even more alone because while I had met a ton of people, I hadn't met MY people yet - you know, a kindred spirit that you just get, and that just gets you. And this was a feeling I hadn't felt in a long time, not since starting a new school in high school. In college, I had L from the very beginning to gossip with, complain to, eat/study/drink/play with, etc. And she already knew me so I never had to deal with a period of feeling unknown by anyone. And even when I moved to NY and started law school, the VERY first person I met when I got out of the car at the dorms was W, and we immediately were inseparable and our friendship is one of the things that made my three years at law school some of the best years of my life. When I moved back to SF, there was no "new" period because it was where my family was and I had old friends in place already. But when I moved to Tokyo...well, it was like being the new kid at school. In a new country. Where they speak a language you don't understand. And have customs and habits and social mores that you don't understand. It was so alien. But since I was the outsider, I felt like the alien. And even though I had T, who is one of my oldest friends, it just wasn't the same because 1) he's a guy (and it's just not the same as having a good girlfriend because even though men and woman may be of the same human race, there is something to be said about the "men are from mars, women are from venus" thing...) and 2) he has a girlfriend (and a slightly jealous, passive aggressive Japanese one at that) and I could tell from her body language that she was not all too enthused at this sudden presence of a close female friend of her boyfriend suddenly moving into town. So I tried to respect her space and her possessiveness and not spend too much time with him or them.

Long story short, my first month or so in Tokyo was a really lonely, isolating period, despite being surrounded by people all the time.

And then, I met G while S was visiting Tokyo. And meeting her has completely changed my experience and perspective on Tokyo. Because she is a kindred spirit. Kindred spirits aren't people who are exactly like you, but they are people whose soul speaks to your own in one way or another and having them around just makes everything a little bit brighter. They just get IT, and you can't explain IT because IT is different for everyone. But G gets it. She's a soul sister - and I'm so thankful the universe brought her to me.

I'm so thankful to the universe (i.e. God) for always providing me with kindred spirits wherever I am.

I kind of think that a lot of people (especially expats) in Japan haven't found kindred spirits, which is why a lot of people often talk about feeling lonely. It came up in a recent conversation - someone mentioned that in Tokyo, he often felt really lonely even though he went out all the time, and other people said they felt the same way. I'm not sure WHY it's so prevalent here - maybe it's a big city thing. I don't feel like I met people in SF who complained about feeling lonely, but I do think it's something people say about NY, until they find their people. Like NY, Tokyo is a mega metropolis, the kind of city where you will meet/encounter tons of people but also a city where people are really private and don't necessarily open up immediately. So you can go out, drink and party together all the time and months later, you realize you don't really know a whole lot about them, nor they about you. And while there is a place in life for all kinds of relationships/friendships, and casual, fun friends is one of them, there's just something so much more fulfilling about finding a kindred spirit.