The Bare Necessities

My "essentials" (the stuff I'm willing to ship to Tokyo, knowing I'll either have to pay to ship it back or discard it there) for Tokyo include 8 boxes, 2 large suitcases, one snowboard/ski bag and one duffel bag. The suitcases and duffel bag contain all the clothes I "need" for a year, the snowboard/ski bag include one snowboard and one set of skis, and the boxes contain the following:

* Box 1: Charmin toilet paper, 9 boxes of cereal, instant Indian food (from Trader Joe's), instant Thai food, Pantene shampoo & conditioner, floss
* Box 2: comforter
* Box 3: sheets, pillows
* Box 4: pillows, DVDs
* Box 5: duvet, books
* Box 6: photos
* Box 7: bags & shoes
* Box 8: bags & shoes

If I lose Box 1, I will be constipated for a year (sorry, TMI). Boxes 2-5 are replaceable (although I do LOVE my duvet cover and the company that made it is no longer in business). If the moving company loses Boxes 6-8 they should be prepared to deal with the wrath of deb.

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Ever since the beginning of 2008, life has been stupendously wonderful (new job concerns and mortgage worries aside). It feels like it's just been an uber-concentrated period of love (finding, falling in and deepening), friends, family and travel, always accompanied by good food and drink. Does life get any better?! I feel so incredibly lucky and blessed that this has been my life for the last year and a half and I hope the joie de vivre continues as I embark on a new adventure abroad. However, I'm constantly aware that...this too, shall pass.

We always say "this too, shall pass" at times of hardship to help someone understand that their feelings of grief or sorrow or unhappiness will pass, but I live my life knowing that THIS (happy, carefree times) too, shall pass. So while it lasts, I want to enjoy it. To the utmost potential.

One of my grandmother's oldest and closest friends passed away earlier this week. Her health had been on and off in recent years so I don't think it was a huge shock to her family or friends, but death is always...unexpected. Or at least, the finality of it.

It may sound morbid, but I live each day with the thought that I might not have forever. I don't just mean my own life - I live each day knowing that every moment I share with my friends and family is precious because...you just don't know. We don't know how many moments we will be allowed to have with each other, so I try not to put off spending quality time with the people I love because at the end of the day, I think the only things I'll ever regret are: 1) not loving enough and 2) not having done everything I wanted to do. I don't think people spend their last moments regretting the things they did do, only the things they didn't (unless they were particularly hurtful people who spent their time hurting others).

So everything I want in life, I go after. Everything I want to do, I try to do. Everything I want to eat, I eat. And I try to do the things I do with every grain of my being. And as if I'm racing against time, because I am. Even my "relaxing" is done with the constant knowledge that every moment is precious, that time is ticking away. And it's not so much that I think about death per se, but rather that I know that THIS - whether that means an opportunity to pursue a dream, a chance to travel, a chance to love, or simply, a meal shared with friends, will not always be available. So when given the chance, I take it.

(I also spend a lot of time contemplating why I am the way I am and I attribute this characteristic to my stepmom's death when I was in high school - because she was such a beautiful soul and her life was cut so short, because her death devastated my father for years and I think still affects him now, because the things I regret are the things I didn't get to say. I think her death made me realize that the things you regret at the end of one's life (yours or a loved one's) are simple: not letting your loved ones know how much you loved them more often and a life that didn't or wasn't allowed to live up to its full potential because time was too short or other things got in the way.)

Admittedly, I've been living my "free time" up to the max - traveling, eating, spending QT with friends and family. Maybe I've gone a teeny bit overboard. But...life is so so brief, shouldn't we fill it with as many happy moments and memories as possible? And it's not even that life is just brief because sometimes, for some people, life is actually quite long. But the truth is: life is not, will not, always be happy. So when the universe (God) grants you the blessing of happy times, you just have to milk it for all it's worth. Because you will have to endure unhappy times at some point: death or other loss of a loved one, heartache, financial turbulence, disappointments. And as everything in life, those things too, shall pass. But so will happy times.

Maybe this blog is a bit depressing, but it's not meant to be. The point is: CARPE DIEM!