China, Part 4 - Over It

I’m officially over third world countries, backpacking and extended traveling. I don’t know whether it’s lost its novelty, or whether I’ve lost my sense of adventure, or whether I’m homesick, or whether I’m just tired of always feeling dirty and being constantly on the move, living out of a backpack. I’m tired of touts and hawkers constantly besieging me to buy something or use their services. I’m tired of having to be so alert all the time at the constant danger of being run over by a car or a scooter or being pickpocketed. I’m tired of waking up in a temporary lodging, in which you can never truly relax or feel fully clean. This morning I woke up and all I wanted was a tall glass of non-foul tasting milk and a slice of buttered wheat toast with jelly. But I’m particular about my toast – it has to be buttered before you toast it. It’s the kind of simply luxury you can give yourself at home, but can’t get at a restaurant.

We were only supposed to be in Chengdu for 2 days, then fly to Jiuzhaigou, a beautiful valley full of nature in which nine Tibetan villages reside, but we actually decided to cancel our plane tickets there and just stay put in Chengdu for 5 days. I think the constant traveling, which most recently consisted of a 26 hour train ride from Guilin to Chengdu in a disgustingly filthy train filled with country hicks that would scream into their telephones in the middle of the night or put their dirty-ass feet up on OUR seats, wore us down. We checked into the Sheraton, which is considered a five star hotel here (but would probably only be a four star in the US and is in need of better attention to detail and renovation) and don’t have any plans to do anything in Chengdu other than relax and restore ourselves.

Last night, I even suggested to El Hombre that perhaps we should cancel the trek in Nepal as well, and just head over to HK a few weeks early. I feel ready to settle into normal life.

The thing about extended traveling, especially backpacking, is that it’s completely different from vacationing. More often than not, vacationing involves getting away from the demands of real life to get some R&R. For me, it generally means going somewhere sunny with friends, holing up at a resort hotel and sitting by the pool or beach with cocktails at hand. But backpacking is entirely different. First off, you’re on a budget, which doesn’t usually include ordering overpriced margaritas. Second, you usually don’t stay at resort hotels, but rather overused hostels or guesthouses or decrepit 2- or 3-star hotels. Finally, whereas the goal of vacationing is often to just relax or do whatever you want to unwind, the goal of backpacking is often to throw yourself into the local culture and absorb/learn/see as much of the locale as possible. Which often means full-day schedules starting at the crack of dawn, hiking in impossibly humid weather to see a tribal village or an impressive gorge or a pile of old rocks.

Over the last 10 years, I’ve constantly tried to stamp out the natural prissiness inside me by forcing myself to backpack, rough it, suffer. I’ve always been OCD about hygiene. One visit to my apartment and you’d get an idea of how generally high maintenance I am. I wash towels after one or two uses. I like soft, fluffy down comforters covered by high thread-count duvets. Lysol and Swiffer are constant companions. I only buy Charmin ultra soft toilet paper. In my normal life, I’m okay with all this. But I think ever since I became an independent adult (maybe the influence of my hippie college education), I’ve been trying to stamp out my prissiness and prove to myself that I CAN rough it. And so, I’ve backpacked through Southeast Asia in some of the most questionable lodgings ever. I’ve forced myself to stay in hostels and guesthouses, I make myself do things that my nature screams against, such as surfing (every time a wave crashes over me, I am gripped with utter panic and fear that I will drown – I finally decided that as much as I’d like to conquer surfing, I’m too afraid of waves to do so) and trekking without showering for days (I think I’ve blocked out the agony of extended constipation and extreme dirtiness I suffered during the Inca Trail). But I’ve decided that I’m done fighting against my nature. Roughing it is SOO overrated! I am a prissy, high maintenance girl and I ‘m totally ready to embrace my true self!